Unveiling Ourselves

It's been a long time; I seem to always start posts out this way. I'll dispense with the pleasantries and excuses. I'm here as usual because I have a lot on my mind. I always do this. I let things pile up on me until I feel the need to just vomit all my thoughts out on the first innocent victim. The nicest thing about this blog is that no one reads it. It's like a journal, but I can have the deception of writing to someone else. I always struggle writing in a real journal. Who am I writing to? I have a prayer journal, but that's part of what's bothering me, I don't know how to go to God. How do I approach the Almighty? I'm instantly inundated with thoughts of verses and words of wisdom I've heard over the years. I'm certain they are all true and good, but I can't piece them together. I just want to be able to pray. It happened the other day, but I'm not sure how.

One problem I have is understanding my relationship to God. Christian writers and thinkers push very paradoxical ideas on this question. God is infinitely above us. His omnipresence is beyond simply being everywhere; He is so everpresent because he transcends space. God is not material and cannot therefore be contained in material space. God's omnipotence puts all of the universe in a constant and eternal state of dependence on Him. If God has the power to do whatever he wills, what could compete with that power. Therefore we only exist because he wills us to. He upholds us, keeps us existing. He is the divine constant. His omniscience comes from existing outside of time. He holds all of the cards and can see everything play out. Not as though he is given a vision of what is to come (who would give God said vision), but he actually sees the "future" as the present. Time, as C.S. Lewis said, is a line. God is the page containing that line. What do I bring before this God?

Yet, despite all of these things, God has revealed himself in other ways. The God who is omnipresent and beyond space was confined (how exactly I can't understand) to the body of a man. The omnipotent will conceded "Not my will, but yours." Finally, the God who could not be contained in a temple because the "heavens are [His] throne, the earth [His] footstool," has chosen his dwellingplace on earth. He says that it is in the hearts of man. He is inside me. He is above me, around me. Am I to talk to the Spirit inside me, the Spirit who searches me and knows my heart, who tests me and knows my anxious thoughts. What do I bring to God?

C.S. Lewis suggests that prayer is "unveiling" ourselves before God. God may know everything about us in the same way He does any other object in creation, but it is through prayer that we "make ourselves known to God." We become persons before Him, and He before us. Not that the divine constant changes, but we are able to see Him as a person if you will. The theology breaks down as divinity and depravity collide. I'm terrified of the encounter I think. I don't really know. I have much more on many other topics, but for now, I need sleep. Farewell.

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Your name.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our sins
As we forgive those who sin against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil,
For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory
Forever and ever. Amen.