I'm coming home...

Well, I am. I miss everyone and can't wait to be there. See you all soon.

I can breathe

Well, I just submitted my coursework. Things are done a little differently here. Instead of having deadlines and handing work into our professors, there is an end of term coursework collection. You take all of your assignments to a table and fill out a form. Then, you hope it makes its way to your tutor (that's what they call teachers).

I guess that's why I haven't posted in a while. I've had many late nights. One class required a 1500 word security policy analysis for a European Union document. I know, 1500 words isn't that much, but I've never done a paper like this before. It stretched me, which was good. For my other class, the religion one, I had to turn in a portfolio. Three 1000 word reports and a 2000 word summary of my experience, plus a photo journal of where all I've been. That's 6500 words total. Not too bad, but I'm also not really in school mode. It feels more like a big summer vacation where I attend some meetings and learn about interesting things. The coursework was a brutal wake up call.

Anyway, it's done now. I just have one exam left. One week from now, I'll be flying over the atlantic on my way home. I'm torn. Part of me misses home and my friends and family so bad I physically hurt. Another part of has fallen in love with London. It's a fantastic city! I had some romantic notions about European city life, and most of them proved true. It scares me to think I might not ever make it back here. Part of me just wants to go walk around the city for every hour I have left till next Friday. It's been a great time, but it's not over yet.

Death has been swallowed up in victory!

I finished reading a very good book today. I am a little emotionally drained from it. It was beautiful, and I'm very thankful for the auther who put it out there. I have many friends still reading the book, so I will remain (though I'm sure I'm failing miserably to accomplish this) enigmatic about it. The book offers hope to a world that seems to have lost it. I'm just glad it appears we have a new Inkling.

The Center

So, I recently attended a Worship Central conference at Holy Trinity Brompton in London. It is a ministry kind of headed up by Tim Hughes to equip worship leaders in the area. It was a wonderful day of Biblically saturated teaching with special application for worship leaders. I learned a lot and had some beautiful times of worship, but there was one thing that I want to focus on.

I had blogged earlier (Unveiling Ourselves, I think was the title) about my challenges in approaching God. He is this powerful God, infinitely above and beyond us, yet our intimate friend, closer than anyone else, in fact inside our hearts. It was a challenge to me that I hadn't reconciled. Though it wasn't the direct focus of the talk, I believe I found the answer. As simple and obvious as it is, the answer is Jesus. Now I could have told you that worship had to be Christ-centered, that he "made a way for us," but I hadn't realized just how central He is.

You see, the way God comes to have this paradoxical relationship with us is through the paradoxical nature of Jesus, the God-man. Jesus is constantly revealing both aspects of His nature, calming the storm and crying with friends. Shining in glory and crying out as He sweat blood. Jesus is the Divine and human in one Person. It is through this union that we come to worship God in the way we do. Were Jesus not human, we could not "approach Him with confidence." The intimacy would be impossible. He would always seem to us a thundering God atop a mountain. Were He not God, we would have nothing to worship. We could love Him and draw near, but He would not have the power over us in order to save us. You see, as much as it scares us, we need the Thundering God of the Old Testament to defeat sin and death. Jesus fulfills both needs.

Without Jesus, I see no way that we could reconcile them. We would find it difficult to grow in both relationships, as I in fact did when Christ was not my entry point of communication to God. To further illustrate that this is how we should still relate to Christ, let's look at Revelation 1. John, the beloved disciple who had rested his head on Christ's chest at dinner, now seems to not recognize his Savior. I'll let you read it, but John searches for words to describe Jesus. It does not seem as if he is seeing his old friend, and this use to bother me greatly. But, a speaker this weekend pointed out something cool. When in verse 16 John is describing Jesus, he writes, "In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance." Then he writes in 17, "When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades."

Did you catch it? In 16, Jesus is holding the stars in His right hand. In 17, He is laying His right on John's shoulder, saying, "Don't be afraid, it's me!" The same hand that holds the stars reaches out to assure and comfort us! This is the glory of the King calling us friends. In Jesus, we find it all. The all-powerful King, and the intimate Savior. This is why he must be the starting point! The focus of our worship. He is "the First and the Last. The Living One!" He is the One standing victorious over death and Hades, and He is our closest, deepest friend. He has made a way for us. Praise Jesus!

We Love to See You Smile

I meant to write about this earlier, but was too consumed with Harry Potter excitement. On Thursday, when I arrived to Leicester Square a little early for the movie, I was feeling that my small portioned British dinner was not going to hold out. So, I did the American thing and slipped into the nearby McDonald's. It was a little hectic, but ok. However, I quickly realised (British spelling) that the Brits didn't quite have this fast food thing down. It didn't look like people had assigned tasks. People were all doing different things. Someone working at the cash register would abandon it to go start making meals while some others walked around confused. Despite the warning signs, I went ahead and placed my standard order: Quarter pounder with cheese, ketchup, and pickles only, medium fries and a coke. The lady at the cash register looked terrified at my custom burger order. I knew I had made a mistake.

I waited 10 minutes for my sandwich while everyone around me was getting their food. She looked at me apologetically and said, "I'm so sorry, it will be ready in a few minutes." I replied, "It's fine. I know there's nothing you can do about it, but I am going to have to go. I've got tickets to a movie, and I just had time to drop in and eat on the way." She said, "Ok, we can fix this! Pick anything on the menu that doesn't need to be custom made. Anything you want. And you can have any dessert you want. Just whatever you want!" I told her some chicken tenders with my coke and fries would be great. She scurried to grab them, and I thanked her profusely. I walked away very content with my meal. You know, we've mastered efficiency and all that good business stuff back in the States, but somewhere along the way, I think we forgot how to take care of people. I walked away thinking it was possibly the best fast food experience I'd ever had. Silly, I know, but it was refreshing. I wonder how many disastrous situations could be avoided by just working hard to take care of people.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Well, I got to see The Order of the Phoenix with I don't know how many hundred other people at London's Odeon Cinema in Leicester Square. It is a beautiful theatre and the environment was great! Now, I'm not a trained film critic, so I won't try to pretend to be one. This is just a brief synopsis of my opinion.

David Yates is new to the Harry Potter world and makes a good impression with his take on the 5th installment of the series. The movie opens with some really nice cinematography. There are just some very nice shots, that might not be expected for a film of this nature. I'm going to avoid discussing matters of plot for those who have not seen it. The story progresses rather quickly. This script is more faithful to the book than any Harry Potter film since Chamber of Secrets. However, this book is also the longest Harry Potter book. The producers kept the film under 2 1/2 hours so that it would remain approachable to younger audiences, resulting in at times a very hurried feel. It is an understandable call, but there are some nice moments of dialogue where you long to slow down and enjoy the moment, instead of the quick flash to another scene.

The acting is great! Now, I'm not saying there are any Oscar bids here, but the young actors have really come into their own. Daniel Radcliffe (Harry) especially gives an outstanding performance. As most of the story centers around his emotional struggles, he has many challenges that come of quite nicely. The new additions to the cast, Imelda Staunton (Professor Umbridge) and Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood), are a delight! Rupert Grint (Ron Weasely) and Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) also show growth with great performances, but are deprived of screen time to give way to Harry's development.

The visual effects are fantastic! Not wanting to give anything away, but there is a wizard battle that looks like nothing I've seen on screen before. One criticism might be the cg on the giant Grawp. He looked pretty unbelievable. He needed some very human characteristics, and I don't know if cg has gotten to that point yet.

My only major gripe is one scene that I had eagerly anticipated. There is a particular conversation at the end of the story that is one of the most beautiful moments of the series. I couldn't wait to see it on screen, and it was reduced to a few seconds of flashback. I can only hope that an extended dvd will give me the conversation in its entirety.

Overall, this is the best Harry Potter to date, and it promises big things for future films (David Yates will direct the 6th installment) and the rest of this young cast's careers. It's a great deal of fun, so I hope you enjoy it.

A Tale of Two Churches Part 1: Hillsong London

I had the privilege of visiting two churches in the London area this Sunday, Hillsong and Holy Trinity Brompton. Hillsong is a relatively new part of a large church in 3 locations, the original home being in Sydney, Australia. Holy Trinty Brompton is an Anglican church with a nice heritage in London. I found out about each church by their worship. Hillsong United has put out several well known worship albums which have been put to good use at my home church. HTB is home to worship leader Time Hughes, composer of the songs "Here am to Worship" and "Beautiful One" and a leader at the Passion conferences in the States. So I went to Hillsong in the morning with some friends here. We accidentally (I got confused) got there an hour early. So we went around the corner to Starbucks. While we were there I asked the guy at the counter if he knew when Hillsong started. He looked confused, but another guy there overheard me and said, "Were you asking about Hillsong, mate?" I told him I was. The man's name was Jeremy. He was very friendly and excited to tell me about his church. It turned out that about 80% of the people in Starbucks that morning were from Hillsong. Apparently it's the community thing to do, which is quite cool. You could feel the thickness of community among these people. While talking to Jeremy, several people came to ask about his wife, who is due to give birth in 2 weeks. Everyone seemed very excited for him.

Once we got there, everyone was very nice and welcoming. We had several people come and introduce themselves. It felt so natural, not like they were "programmed greaters," but genuine people who loved their church and wanted you to feel at home there. There was an energy and freshness in the air. Even though the church had been there for, I think, 5 or 6 years, it felt as if this was the first Sunday of a very new thing. I excused myself to walk around and look at the displays and information. They meet in the Old Dominion theatre, which houses the musical "We Will Rock You" during the week. There was information about getting involved in the community, with the campaign slogan "Because We Can." I saw several of these t-shirts. At the resource desk I found all of the Hillsong cd's and dvd's. I also saw their pastor's books and sermon series. I only saw one resource that didn't come directly from Hillsong. Prominently displayed was Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now. Now, I've never personally read the book, so I will refrain from comment. But, this put me on edge a little bit.

I asked a young lady what defined her church, what made Hillsong what it is. She replied, "I think it's the friendships. Everyone is very close. The worship is also great! I love to worship here!" Curious from the book I had seen, I asked, "What's the teaching like?" She sheepishly replied, "Well, it's pretty soft. I guess they want everyone to feel at home, so they don't really push you with the teaching. They expect you to grow in the small groups. I do sometimes wish they would challenge us with the teaching though." After that we were guided down to some seats near the front.

The stage was impressive with amazing rock show lighting and large risers for the instrumentalists. A countdown started on the screen that stood behind where the band would soon be. Some music started playing to a series of phrases that talked about the church being the body of Christ. I do remember the phrase, "The Church is not peripheral to the world, the world is peripheral to the Church." I'm not entirely sure what that means.

The band then came out. It was an army. Two electric guitars, bass, drums, two keyboard players, an acoustic guitar player, a lead male singer, two female leaders, and two more vocalists who stood more back to the side. They were all very energetic. They would dance as they lead, jump up and down and pump their fists. The room was electric; you would almost think they were singing to a Jesus who was actually alive. Fancy that. They debuted some new songs to be on the recently released album, "Savior King." There were a few things that bothered me through the worship. There was very little depth to the words. This was as far from liturgy as you can get. The next problem was that the music often did not match the words. This became very problematic for me on some lyrics. Some words we sang felt awkward to dance to. People would smile and dance to "You died for us!" It just had no dynamics. No quiet reflection. We also only ever sang about what God had done for us; very man-centered worship. Nothing about God being great, just because He's God. I grew tired of singing, "We're you're church" "We'll take it to the streets" "In Your freedom I will live" "I love you" "You've set me free." I just walked away feeling like what made God great was us. Like the thing that made God praiseworthy was that he saved mankind. There was strong excitement about the church and the people in the church, what God is doing there. But, that seemed to be God's only entry point, us. It felt more like a celebration of us, and thank God that he kept this good thing called humanity going. Now, I am probably exaggerating badly; this was my impression. However, the theme of the talk may have justified it.

The pastor got up and started with some staggering statistics about how lost the UK was. After giving the number of lost people in England he said, "Those numbers aren't going to fit in the Old Dominion Theatre, so if they're to hear the gospel, you're going to have to take it to them." He went on to say that it was time for Hillsong to teach on the deeper truths of the gospel for the first time. He said they had to understand why Jesus had to die, not just that he did, if they were going to be equipped to evangelize England. This was my first Sunday at Hillsong, but I got the impression I was witnessing something significant in the life of this church. I applaud this teacher for taking this direction.

He went on to teach Romans 5. He did an exceptional job of making some difficult doctrinal issues relatively simple and approachable. He started by posing the question, "Is it what you do for God, or what God has done for you that matters?" I'll refrain from regurgitating his entire sermon, but he very effectively taught on Christ as the Second Adam and the atonement. He had one memorable analogy involving computers. He said when you get the multi-colored spinning wheel of death (for windows people, it's the sign a mac has locked up, and yes, macs do lock up), you have three options. One is to accept the thing has gone wrong and leave it to deteriorate. The next is to kick the screen in and throw it out the window, destroying it. And finally, you can hit the reset button and start it over, preserving the original computer, but restarting the software without the problem. He said God had these three options when mankind and the world went wrong through one man, Adam. Jesus, he said, is God's reset button for mankind, preserving the people, but offering a new righteousness for them. He concluded that salvation is not our work, but Jesus' in us. He said if we live in worshipful response to this truth, a moral life will be the natural result. Overall, a wonderful word.

I did have one criticism of the teaching. Being on high alert for the prosperity gospel, I definitely sensed it creeping in. He toted a dangerous line at one point, saying "You don't have to work to earn God's love and salvation. He gives them freely. You already have his approval. It's not about us living to make God happy, it's about God..." he stuttered, apparently realizing where he was going. "God wants to give you all you need, just because he loves you" he concluded. Earlier, when praying for the congregation, he prayed, "For those in blessed times, we thank you. For those in trials and challenging times, we pray that those will end and that they will experience your joy." At the start of the talk, he told us to stand and imagine a door. With us on our side were all of our challenges and problems. On the other side was Jesus waiting to receive and free us. He asked us to physically reach out and take hold of the handle and walk through the door. I stood still, a little uncomfortable. The general idea was that the true Christian life was free of trouble and trial, and that was Jesus had to offer for us.

Overall, a good learning experience. Great example of community and passion. A church that is definitely growing and going somewhere. I'll be interested to see where this new line of teaching leads them. Next time, Holy Trinity Brompton.

A Magical Circus

Well, today in Leicester Square (a really neat little square in London) I had the opportunity to join literally thousands of screaming fans in celebrating the glory of the pretty people who have given us the Harry Potter films. Yes, it was the red carpet (the carpet was green) celebrity London premiere of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Knowing that people had begun camping out the night before, I left immediately after my afternoon class in hopes of being able to see at least something. I found myself a nice spot directly beneath the screen where they would show the interviews and within a decent distance outside where the celebrities would pass the fortunate fans who were on the inside of the fence that separated the rest of the world. I sat and watched as people filed into Leicester Square and the Euphoria began to grow.

It was truly exciting to see J.K Rowling and the slew of actors and actresses who play the characters from the world of Hogwarts with my own eyes. You can see more pictures on my facebook. However excited this nerdy Potter fan may have gotten, my perspective did allow one interesting bit of incite. You see, Leicester Square is literally a square with a little park in the middle. At the center of the park is a statue. The organizers of this event had created a ring of fans around the little park with a tunnel on one side leading to the theatre (British spelling... Ha!). From standing both right outside the ring and under the screen, I got two very distinct perspectives. From the screen, I saw the glamorous camera angles that make these things look so amazing. But peering in I saw what was really happening. These actors would get out of a car, and then start their way around the ring. They would walk slowly around with people screaming loudly as they came near. On the screen they looked larger than life; from my spot they looked very small. As they trudged around the circle signing autographs, the image became comical. The only thing I could relate the image to was that of elephants circling an arena. It looked like such a joke. These normal human beings, so real. For the first time flesh and blood to me. The glamor seemed to fade away. They were just people, being screamed at and bustled around a circle under flashing lights.

Now I'm not condemning this event or the people involved. I was there and enjoyed the poop out of it. It was really cool, and I would have jumped on Rupert Grint (Ron Weasely) if given the chance. I was merely observing the absurdity of what we do.

Arrived in London

8:37 am: They lost my luggage...

Still waiting...(or perhaps more accurately, my day as a homeless person)

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Side note, I had several events occur over the past several days that deservered a blog, however I found myself with no access to the internet. I plan to catch everyone up. I kept notes of things as they were happening, and I plan to post them chronologically. For story telling (I kept rushing trying to type story telling and typed "stelling" 3 times before I got it right) effect, I'm going to write as if I didn't know the outcomes of certain events and post some fake dates and times. If anyone considers this illegitimate, my apologies. Thanks for reading.
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8:00 am: I arrived at Denver International Airport. My flight wasn't until 12:45, but I decided it wouldn't hurt to get there early. So, I called home, talked to my mom, dad, and both sisters, Brittany and Mary. I also got to talk to my lady friend Kassie, who is studying Spanish in Chihuahua, Mexico. I was a little depressed about leaving Ravencrest. I just had a wonderful time there. I got to worship with a few young men (and ladies) that I care deeply about. I had some good conversations with a very good friend and mentor of mine, and I was blessed to hear some amazing men of God teach the Bible. You see, the teachers of Ravencrest resemble Christ in there teachings in ways that few others do. They are brilliant and well studied, but when it comes down to it, they communicate the Bible in very simple terms. They are story tellers. Now, this doesn't mean they don't study the ancient texts with fervor to find truth. They put in the hard, at times cold, academic work of study. But they teach with heart and caring. Top these blessings off with the location. Colorado is simply a beautiful display of God's creative work.

So I I was sad to leave. Talking to those I care deeply was quite comforting. After talking with them, I got a Dominoes Pizza (it sounded good at the time), and prepared to go through security.

10:30 am: Going through security was fairly uneventful. No hold ups. No strip search. I walked up to my gate and prepared to wait. I ended up sitting across from an extremely obnoxious young man. I couldn't help overhearing a conversation in which he trying to impress the young lady sitting next to him. He was a senior in college and told stories about taking Calculus II after going 3 years with no math. The advisors told him it was a bad idea; no one could pass in those conditions. He got an "A." "But calculus is really easy for me," he explained to the lady's impressed and shocked face. He then talked about how he new so much French going into college that they didn't have placement tests high enough for him. He ended up only having to take 1 advanced class and they gave him a French minor. He went on to describe his love of literature, music, science, politics, traveling, himself, cultures, and the young lady's asian pajamas she had on. I swallowed down the sour stuff in my mouth and walked to other side of the gate.

11:45 am: I was starting to grow concerned as I realized that the flight before mine had not yet boarded. It seemed likely that if the plane occupying my gate was an hour and a half behind schedule, it didn't bode well for my flight. Sure enough, they changed my flight time on the screen to 2:15. Weather problems in both Denver and Chicago (where I changed planes) were to blame. My connecting flight in Chicago was at 6:45. I called my mommy concerned about the tightness. She called American Airlines, who told me I should be fine, but if I missed my flight, there was a later direct flight to London they could get me on. No worries.

1:12 pm: Flight delayed to 3:45. I would definitely miss the connecting flight in Chicago. I started trying to get booked on the later direct flight out of chicago, with no help from a perticularly rude ticket agent. She informed me that I delt with a delay like this once a year. This was every day of her life. I could deal with it. I smiled and walked away to go find someone more helpful, when she called out, "Flight 1910 to chicago has been canceled. You may go back to the front desk to make other arrangements." Me and a few hundred others so it turned out. In the time it took me to move about 9 yards in the snake-like line, Mom found out that the soonest I could leave for London was the next morning at 8:15 am. A night in Denver was coming my way. (I love that lady). We communicated over the phone for the next hour as we made the arrangements and informed the university I was going to that I would be a day late.

3:45 pm: We realized that it would be prudent to start working on a hotel room. It turned out that everyone else had figured this out earlier. No rooms available, anywhere. So walked around the airport, had some dinner, got out my computer and e-mailed some people, and finally went downstairs to the security check-point. Now since my flight didn't leave until the next morning, I couldn't check my bags until then. Since I still had my bags, I couldn't go through security to my gate. So I setteled by a wall about fifty yards from security. I watched Little Miss Sunshine on my mac. It's a delightful movie. Despite some strong language, it captures some beautiful moments depicting the human condition and the need for approval and self worth. It is a little guilty of wearing its existential influences on its cinematic sleeves by having potentially the primary voice of the story's theme be an obsessive Nietzche follower. Ironically, this voice doesn't speak for at least three fourths of the movie. The movie contains moving moments of crushing dissappointment, faithful devotion to family, dealing with the reality of death, the comfort of those close at heart, and ultimately, joyous celebration of who we are. It left me feeling good about sleeping in an airport. I cuddled up on top of my suitcases, strapped my backpack to the front of me, and wrapped my arms around my guitar, which was as you may recall, cracked three days earlier. Time for bed.

Waiting...

Well, I’m off today for London. For those of you who don’t know, I’ll be spending 6 weeks in foggy London town studying at Middlesex University. I’m taking two courses, Politics of the European Union and Multi-faith London. Now the former will likely look much like any other poli-sci class, however, the latter will be a bit unorthodox. I will meet in a classroom twice for the religion course, on the first day and the last. In between then, I will have a list of churches, temples, mosques, and museums to visit. I will keep a portfolio of what I learn. I don’t know much more than that at the time. This wonderful schedule leaves me 4 day weekends and plenty of time to explore England and possibly a few surrounding countries. I hope to grow and learn a lot over the next few weeks, and I plan to share what I do learn with those who are daring enough to read.

And so the learning began with the first day of my journey. I have spent the past two days at Ravencrest Chalet in Estes Park, Colorado. It’s a Torchbearer’s Bible school; check it out. Anyway, I was there with Fellowship Bible Church Student Ministries and a few guys that I am very blessed to get to hang out with. These two days probably deserve a post of their own, but I haven’t had enough time to process the experience. This morning I had to leave the camp early to catch my flight to England. I got up at 4:45 am to see off a few brave souls who were undertaking a gruesome hike today. I ate breakfast with them and hugged them all goodbye. I then took a shower and got my things together. I woke up my dear friend Cameron Heger to say goodbye and then went up the hill to wait for the shuttle to pick me up. It was supposed to retrieve me at 6:30, and I being a little antsy about the trip arrived at the top of the hill 15 minutes early to be safe. (Not that early huh? Well it is for me) It was a cool, brisk Rocky Mountain morning. There was a thick fog lingering from the previous day’s storm. Draped across the ridge silhouetted by the sunrise, the fog glazed the landscape, giving the illusion the it was painted on the sky. I sat on a rock and waited.

6:30. A car came tearing up the driveway to the chalet. I leapt up and grabbed my bags, but was let down as a truck turned into the construction site. As the minutes passed, my anxiety crescendoed into panic. 6:40. A mere 10 minutes late and I’m starting to run scenarios of what I could do if the shuttle didn’t come. Mind that my flight wasn’t until 12:45. That didn’t matter at the time. I rationally realized that my panic was not justified, so I started analyzing it (a very relaxing activity in unsettling times). I asked what it was about my situation that caused the panic. I thought about being in Colorado at a place that I am fairly familiar, but not quite at home. I was waiting for a ride to take me to a plane to a new country where I will know no one. Plenty of things that would give rise to anxiety, but I was looking for the needlepoint that caused the anxious prick. I thought about the time I drove my friend Shama to the airport to fly to Connecticut for Thanksgiving with a friend. I’m not sure what made me think of this memory, but it pointed me to the issue. That was the role I was used to playing, the driver, the person with the resources. I am accustomed to being independent to a certain degree. God, most times through my parents, has provided everything I’ve needed. I’m able to be in control and do things at my pace and convenience. Yet here I was, completely dependent on someone I didn’t know to come through for me. I was stranded with no means of getting to the airport if this one person didn’t show up. The helplessness terrified me. In the moment I realized how weak my practical faith was. I knew very little about trusting in God. I made it my habit to always have a solution, a plan, and a back up ready. It’s little and simple, but it’s what God taught me this morning waiting on a rock in Estes Park.

The shuttle picked me up at 6:45.

How to Heal

So here I am again with another problem of mine. I seem to still be struggling with the elementary issues of the faith in a rather ridiculous way. On top of my prayer questions, I'm really struggling with sanctification. I've been listening to Matt Chandler's Hebrews series lately, and it has really challenged me in many ways. I've been trying to line up what I believe with how I live, and there are some major discrepancies.

As Chandler teaches through Hebrews, he zeros in on the tabernacle's failures. People come to the tent with their sins and failures. They confess to a priest, who tells them, "Yes, you have sinned before God. Let's go kill a bull." After a sufficient sacrifice is made, the sinner says he will do better, then walks out to repeat the same sin. The law had no power to change people. Then along comes Christ, says he's going to give us a new covenant. Abundant life. New life.
Paul later describes us being free in Christ. "It is for freedom that Christ set us free. So, therefore stand firm and do not be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." He also says there is no condemnation for us who are in Christ Jesus. The law is gone. "He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross." (Col. 2) He also says that everything is permissible for us, but not everything is beneficial. The freedom here is astounding. The world has been opened up to us. This has opened up the possibility of great works for the Lord, and great sin in the name of "grace." Paul does in fact warn of this. He cautions the Romans not to go on sinning, but he does not soften his hard stance on grace alone for our salvation.

Well the theology sounds good, but what do we do with it? How does this find its way into our lives? How do we live like free men (and women)? One big question is what are these things that are not "beneficial" to us? Some things are clearly defined in Scripture. Sex outside of marriage. Pretty clear. Pride and envy. No question. Lust. Of course. But what are the lines. What things in our lives do we need to stay away from and why? Why do we avoid them?

I'm sorry; I'm jumping all over the place. I'll come back to the idea of where the line is, but for now I want to talk about our motivation in sanctification. Chandler speaks of the process like this. He says that when his daughter was learning to walk, they would throw a party for every step she took. Video cameras came out; family members were called. This was big time. He noted, though, he never was angry with his daughter for falling. He was too busy celebrating the steps. He would pick her up, kiss the bruises, and get her walking again. He acknowledges that as she grows the falls will get bad. They will draw blood and maybe even leave scars. He will help her heal, and correct her so that she can avoid falling next time.

This sounded beautiful when I first heard it. I wanted this love and freedom. But I had to wonder if it is correct. When I sin in a horrendous way, is God not angry at all? Does sin not still anger or hurt God if it comes from one of His children? It is a beautiful image. It may be true. It feels so different from how I experience sin and the guilt that follows, but it sounds so good. Is this the true image of God, or me wanting to turn Him into something He is not? I'm still searching on this one.

Now for the practical side. What boundaries do we set up for ourselves in areas of sin? The Law commanded that the Sabbath was to be kept holy. No work was to be done. But, what was work? The Pharisees decided to help people out and define work. The Mishnah listed what could and could not be done on the Sabbath, and Jesus hated it. They had added to his law. Do we add to grace by inflicting extra boundaries on others. I think so. But what about on ourselves? If I say that I know one area causes me to sin, is it legalistic of me to limit myself in that area?

I have a friend who described accountability as a crutch. We are broken people, who God is healing. Crutches help people continue to live their regular lives while they are healing. My fear, though, is that I am not healing, but just living on the crutches. Am I living life on a crutch with no plan for ever getting off of it? Somewhere there has to be growth and healing. We have to practice walking with new legs that are prepared to move and run.

I don't think we'll ever be fully healed here on earth. We'll always need the crutches. But isn't the goal heaven? What if instead of waiting for heaven to come to us we started working for it. What if we started preparing our souls for it, so as to taste a little bit of heaven on earth? What kind of image would this give the world. Plato wrote that philosophy was preparing the soul for death. I think that might be an ok description of the Christian faith. Preparing the soul for death and heaven, a place where we won't need the crutches. Preparing for heaven strikes some people as a strange thought. Should you need to prepare for it? Shouldn't it be simple and carefree? Do you we need to prep? I like what C.S. Lewis said about heaven. He said there is serious business in heaven, and that is the business of Joy. Not some mindless frivolity. Intentional, real, everlasting joy. This kind of joy is our duty. The wounds we carry keep us from fulfilling that duty. I want to heal, but sometimes don't know how. I guess that's what the Body is for, helping each other figure it out.